Relationships
By Ernest Quansah

Recent poll taken in January 2003 indicates that 80% of North Americans believe that they have soulmates. Some of the people in the poll went as far as to say that they have met their soulmates but they made the mistake of letting their soulmates get away. This article will give you ideas you can use to avoid loosing your soulmate. 

When you meet someone, how do you know the person is your life mate? Yes there is a soulmate for every man and woman. The reason why you should strive to find yours is that soulmate relationships and marriages work. Are they far more superior to ordinary relationships and marriages? If so why would those surveyed who believed they met their soulmates failed to connect? Lets discuss some of the reasons why some people find their right mate while others aren’t able to.

Relationships and marriages that are long lasting are filled with love, respect, romance, fulfilling sex, and happiness. These are all soulmate based. It is no mystery; we all go into relationships hoping it will work. My self-just like you know otherwise. So if your love life appears stale, don’t worry. There is a solution.

There is no reason why you must suffer break ups, heartaches and emotional injury. There is no reason why you should spend a fortune on a wedding just to see it go down the tubes in less than two years. For the most part, failed relationship and marriage are choices you make. This means you can choose to find the kind of love life, happy relationship or marriage that is guaranteed to work. Again that is a choice you make. Divorce is one of the easiest things to prevent prior to and during marriage. There is a simple step you or any one can take to avoid wasting time, money and your emotions in relationships that go nowhere.

Here are a few of the reasons why so many people fail to find their right mate. Acceptance is the very basis of all human needs. Over the years, I have counseled many singles looking for meaningful relationships. Overtime I have discovered a major blockade that is one of the leading courses why relationships fail. We as people have the right to choose. Because of this free will, most people willingly choose a relationship and marriage that is guaranteed to fail. How, you ask.

Because of the desire to be accepted by a person you admire, not necessary one who admire you back, you may find yourself dating the person you want. That’s is okay. The problem is, sometimes the person you choose may not want to be with you but is with you because you are giving the person what he or she wants. 

If you still don’t get my point, what I am saying is that sometimes a person may be with you because the person gets to use you for self-gratification. In this case, at the end, it will be you who will suffer the hurt, not the person who used you. It is sad I have to say this. There are men and women out there who don’t care about your feelings. They will use you, hurt you, and walk away with total disregard for the injury they caused you. 

So what should you do? Protect your emotional feelings; take control over how you allow others to treat you. Remember, if you don’t care about your feelings, can you expect others to care about your feelings? People don’t like to change. We like our little comfort zone so we turn a blind eye and hide behind denial. But do you know that when you deny or refuse to acknowledge that you are doing something wrong, you automatically put yourselves in a position where you cannot and will not change. 

There is a saying that goes like this: when you know something is not working, change it. A good example is, have you ever met a person you really liked but when you refused the person sex, the person left you? Let me put it this way, if a person cares for you, why would the person leave because you refused the person sex? There is another reason why we choose relationships that fail. For example, I know many situations when people meet their soulmates but refuse to be with the soulmate. Why? Because the soulmate does not have the material wealth or physical appearance that the person want. There are also times when the desire to be accepted becomes so important to us that when we begin to have a relationship with a nonsoulmate, our feelings alone is all that matter. Remember at the end it is you who suffer. Change brings growth.

So what should you do if you want to identify your soulmate? 

First make a conscious decision that you want a relationship with your soulmate. 

Secondly, set a goal. What I mean is ask your self what you are willing to do to find that special someone. Here are some ideas on pros that will for sure help you. Write down the pros and cons of soulmate relationships and marriage.

 Here are some tips you may consider. 

1. Soulmate relationships bring joy. 

2. Soulmate couples enjoy fulfilling sex than nonsoulmate couples. 

3. Their relationships are filled with love, care, support, trust and so forth. 

For cons, you may consider these points.

1 My patient will be tested. 

2. I may be alone sometimes 

3. I will sacrifice instant gratification for a meaningful relationship. 

There are also the three words that can help you avoid falling into unwanted relationship. These words are ABHORE, TOLERATE AND ACCEPT. 

1. Abhore means to be disgusted with something. If you met a person and knew for certain the person is out to use you, will you be disgusted? 

2. Tolerate means allow or validate another person way of doing things even if you don’t approve of what it is that the person does. 

3.Accept means you agree to or consent to something. 

So what does all this has to do with preventing people from finding that special someone? The answer is very easy. There are certain treatment and behavior that we may find abhorring. The problem is sometimes we want to be with a person so bad that we rush. When we rush, we miss the warning signs. When we are finally with the man or woman of our dreams, we have allowed the person into our lives by tolerating the person. The obvious thing that that will happen is we will comply with the person. In other words, we accept the person's behavior. 

What I recommend is if you are interested in a good meaningful relationship, you must focus on your goal. By not abhorring a person who is with to use you, you don’t tolerate the person’s intensions. By not tolerating the person’s behavior you don’t accept any damage the person could do to you. The secret to identifying your right mate is taking your time. This way you can weed out those who are only with you because of what they can get.

Remember, soulmate relationships and marriages have been research for many years. The results prove that it works and is the very best relationship or marriage anybody could ever have period. Yes, you can find happiness, love, security, trust and respectful relationship if you choose to. So get out and get your soulmate. CHOOSE THE RIGHT.

Copyright: © 2003. All rights reserved

Ernest Quansah is a writer, relationship counselor and a member of Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. His areas of expertise are, love, sex, dating advice, men, women, friendships, relationship counseling, soulmate relationship, interracial relation advice, and marriage advice. His Website contains more information on areas of his expertise. www.soulmateinfoserve.com