How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique

by Peter Murphy

Do you ever find that when a friend asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a solution than it is for your friend?

And do you also find that sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own problems?

The same applies to disputes, relationship issues and disagreements.

When you are part of the problem it can be very difficult to see a solution. What you need at times like this is a helicopter!

Helicopter Talk Technique:

1 Imagine you are in a helicopter flying high above the town you live in. Now travel to where you last had a dispute with a family member, friend or work mate.

2 From the safety and distance of the helicopter above rerun the last conversation when the trouble flared up. Watch the scene unfold and pay attention to how you communicated rather than who was in the right.

3 Ask yourself:

-- how could you have handled the situation better? -- what could you have done differently? -- what is the solution to the problem?

Your goal is to be emotionally detached yet concerned with finding the best solution in the same way you help a friend with a problem.

4 Imagine a trusted friend is in the helicopter observing:

-- what advice would your friend give you? -- what does your friend notice that you missed?

Your own private helicopter can be used to identify patterns of communication you have that land you in hot water as well as new ways of dealing with problems.

Have fun in the sky!