Avoid a Life of Regrets With Your Yes List
by Sopan Greene

How many times have you told yourself "yes!" today? Not enough I bet. Yes is the most powerful word in the English language.

Unfortunately, too many times we say yes to others when we should say no. At the same time we continue to tell ourselves no when we need to say yes.

You deserve to create the life of your dreams. Period. The first step on that road is to learn to tell yourself yes before you say yes to others.

One big reason so many people don't like their lives is because they accidentally created a life that's not based on what they want. How did that happen? Pretty easily and unconsciously.

If most of your life isn't how you thought it would turn out then you haven't figured out what you want to say yes to in your life. This doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a typical twenty-first century human whose life is filled with distracting details and tasks. Random decisions lead us down random paths with random endings we don't want.

When you know what you want to say yes to then your life begins to change drastically. Why? Because anything that comes up that's not on your "Yes list" is an automatic no. How helpful is that? Very helpful.

This allows you to cut out time that gets wasted on activities you don't need to do. For example lets pretend Grace's yes list includes things like reading, having a clean house, taking care of her kids, exercising, being healthy, enjoying her job, and connecting with her friends.

So today, like every day, Grace is bombarded with choices. She gets to work and someone generously brought in a huge box of donuts to share with everyone. She thinks one would taste good and she wouldn't mind a sugar rush to get her day started. Should she eat it? Not if she's saying yes to being healthy. That yes cuts out the possibility of junk food and helps to prevent a future morning in the mirror asking "How did this happen to me?"

Later in the day a friend calls and invites Grace out to dinner at 9 p.m. Grace says no to dinner out because she ate out last night and doesn't want the extra calories among other reasons that don't fit her "yes list". But then she says yes if her friend will come over to her house at 7 instead of 9 so she can have a healthier meal, be with her kids, get to bed early enough to not be tired at work and to live within her "yes list."

Do you get it? The point is that if your yes list has "start my own business" at the top then you say no to anything that doesn't support it like too much television viewing, playing video games every day, joining a softball league, etc.

Once you make your "yes list" and then prioritize the list you'll be in the driver's seat as you drive through each day making choice after choice after choice. You'll be conscious about what you want and you'll be doing what you need to do to get what you want. Your future mornings with the mirror will see you smiling and thrilled with your life.

This way you won't end up at the end of your life wondering "what if?" Even better, you won't be complaining about what you should've, could've or would've done. Instead you'll be basking in your accomplishments and living the life you love.

See Also: Give Up Giving and Start Being Generous
Most of us grow up strongly influenced by the concept that 'It is better to give than to receive'. We take it to heart so much that we interpret it literally, and that's where we often get ourselves into trouble!

© 2003 Red To Greene, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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