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The Essence of relationships
by Ernest Quansah

Reality check. The relationship that will bring you the most happiness and the one you pursue are two different things. If the wasnít the case, the very first time you go into a relationship you like, it would have worked right? If it didnít then there must be a reason.

Men and women who find successful relationship or marriage are patient, they invest in what things they believe to be the right thing not what they want. When they are given information to help their course, at first if the information does not work, they do not give up. They re-read the information and use it, change it around and try it out until it yelled result. Too often many people want to find love and happiness but are not willing to put in the time so they settle for a the first gorgeous man or woman that walk into their lives. Soon they find that the person is not so great after so they break-up. The every essence of relationships is that a love relationship should work. All the resource to help each man, woman or couples are already there. We as human beings have the tendency to try and get what we want. We try to do it all on our own. Over the year I have noticed that our unwillingness to let others help us is one of the major stumbling blocks in our lives that prevent men and women from having what is rightfully theirs, their soulmate..

All human being are the same in that we all depend on someone for something. Can every one build his or her own automobile? Can you make your own material to construct your apartment? No, but the resource are there. Those who are train in that field are able to turn these resources into product that you and I need. What I am trying to say here is that, all human being have talents and gifts. We have these talents and gift so that we can use them to serve one another. For some their talents are in building cars. For other their talents are in heeling others. Some people are talented in comforting those who need comforting. There are those who can help or guild you find your true love. The reason is we cannot do it all on our own. Even doctors get sick and visit other doctors.

There is a saying that goes, it you are doing something and it is not working, let go and try a new approach. Relationships should work. It is the very essence of having a relationship. One of the reasons why relationships do not work is sometimes people select the person they want to be with and that is all they care about. This approach to finding love can be dangerous because relationship is about two people who match. This way the relationship does not become one sided. This is the woman or man I want and that is it, is one sided. When you select a person you want, basically what happens is because it is you who wants the person; you may find youíre self-doing too much to be with the love interest. This allow the love interest to gain power over you because the love interest knows you want him or her so you are willing to do as he or she wants. You see the danger here?

Another danger is that when a person knows you want to be with him or her more than the person want to be with you, the person may take advantage of you. However if you look for a relationship that is even, the love in the relationship will be given equally. This is of those one those points I stress a lot. I have seen too many men and women who have given all they can to their mates just to dumped for another person. It is a painful experience. But all is not at a lost. The main key is learning from those experiences so that next time around you do not make the same mistake. What I find disturbing is often people repeat the same vicious cycle over and over again. You can stop repeating that same mistake if you acknowledge that there is something you are doing that is not right. THIS IS KEY, Unless you are willing to acknowledge your mistakes, I can promise you that there is no way you will ever change and find success. Be honest with your self and know that you are only human and you make mistakes. A little humility goes a long way. Please donít select a person and try to use pressure or sex to make a the person be your lover. At the end you may end up the looser. The very meaning of essence of relationship is finding a relationship that is healthy and will work for both you and the other person.

It is unfortunate but you need to understand that there are people out there who will hurt you, use you, lie to you and walk away without any remorse. It is sad to say but it is true. So what are your options? Remember you are not here to have failed relationships unless you make that choice. There are people with the talent and skills to help you succeed provided you are willing to do your part. If you feel sick, you do your part by visiting a doctor right?. If you want to find relationship that will work ones and for all, you have to use the appropriate advice. Remember we all reap what we sow. There are no two ways about that. I have to be honest. The truth is hard to accept. Yes I know that but misleading human being is worse. It is a crime in my opinion for any one to try and tell people what they want to hear by misleading them. A person who claim to be professional and yet tell you to settle for relationship that will eventually allotted you pain is no different than your enemy. So remember when it come to finding that special someone, go about it the right way. Remember the word, it is SPECIAL not just any one pursue your love life the right way. Donít to use the right information from an appropriate professional who help you find solutions to your relationship or marital problems. Good Luck.

See Also: 

Acceptance: The Answer to Your Relationships
Accepting the thing you fear the most -- which is not having the thing you want the most -- often has a transformative quality.

From Spouses to Lovers *again*
Tune-up a stale relationship in 3 easy steps.

©2003 All rights reserved

Ernest Quanah is a Relationship Advisor, and founder of Soulmate Infoserve,  and author of "How To Identify Your Soulmate" an online relationship and dating advice manual designed for singles, Partners, couples and interracial lovers. For free relationship advice please Visit http://www.soulmateinfoserve.com 

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