by Michael Myerscough
Commit to telling the total truth
A relationship involves three essential components. You, your partner and the truth. Every time you hold something back from your partner, a piece of your passion dies.
Astound your partner with your generosity
Relationships work best when you ask yourself what you can give to your partner, rather than working out what you can get.
Take responsibility for feeling deeply loved
Accept that it’s your job to educate your partner about what makes you feel most loved. Love your partner how they want to be loved, not how you want to be loved.
Make loving each other a priority
At some point in the day, ideally last thing at night, take the time to tell your partner exactly what you loved most about having them in your life.
Walk away when you get nasty
Most of us get a little nasty when we feel backed into a corner. Come up with a plan that allows either one of you to walk away from a row when you catch yourselves saying things you’ll regret.
Find out your partners dearest goals and dreams
If you support your partner in achieving their deepest desires, you build a relationship that leaves a legacy.
Come back together even if you’re hurting
Develop a simple ritual for coming back together after a fight. Acknowledge that you fight only because you feel hurt. If you can accept that, it’s easier to have a truthful conversation.
Know that things are not how they appear
Every relationship is a tangle of projection, transference and a dose of denial. It’s as if your partner is holding a mirror to your face and shows you what you hate most about yourself. The earlier you can stop blaming and start talking the better you’ll feel.
Accept growing pains
All relationships go through stages. Very few parents throw out their children when they hit the ‘Terrible Two’s’ so why leave a perfectly workable relationship?
No one person is ever going to fulfill your every need and desire. Imaginary couples fall in love quickly and we never really hear how it goes after the credits have rolled. Real couples fall in love slowly and live fully ever after.