by Peter Murphy
Do you ever find that when a friend
asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a
solution than it is for your friend?
And do you also find that
sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own
The same applies to disputes, relationship issues
When you are part of the problem it can be very
difficult to see a solution. What you need at times like this is a
Helicopter Talk Technique:
1 Imagine you are in a
helicopter flying high above the town you live in. Now travel to where you
last had a dispute with a family member, friend or work mate.
the safety and distance of the helicopter above rerun the last conversation
when the trouble flared up. Watch the scene unfold and pay attention to how
you communicated rather than who was in the right.
-- how could you have handled the situation better? -- what
could you have done differently? -- what is the solution to the
Your goal is to be emotionally detached yet concerned
with finding the best solution in the same way you help a friend with a
4 Imagine a trusted friend is in the helicopter
-- what advice would your friend give you? -- what does
your friend notice that you missed?
Your own private helicopter can be
used to identify patterns of communication you have that land you in hot
water as well as new ways of dealing with problems.
Have fun in the